Image courtesy BBC America

Doctor Who 809 “Flatline” Quotes – Who’s the Doctor Now?

This week’s episode was so full of wonderful dialogue and action that I’ve split my article into two.  Here are all the quotes and you can find my review here:  Doctor Who 809 “Flatline” Review – Role Reversal and Dimension-Hopping.  Please check it out and let me know your thoughts on this episode.  I think it was one of the best ever and definitely the best installment of the current series.  The banter alone was worth the watch!

Okay, on to the quotes, because, after all, isn’t that why you’re really here?

Doctor:  Ah, same time you left, same place.  Ish.
Clara:  Ish?  Don’t give me an ish.

Doctor:  These readings are very, um … ishy.

Doctor:  This is huge!  Well, not literally huge, slightly smaller than usual.  Which is huge.
Clara:  Yes, I get it.  You’re excited.  When can I go home?

Doctor:  Could you not just let me enjoy this moment of not knowing something?  I mean, it happens so rarely.

Image courtesy BBC America

Doctor:  Look, I don’t think this is dangerous, but I wouldn’t like you to get squished accidentally.

Rigsy:  I just do graffiti.  Not anything, you know, murder or …

Doctor:  Stop laughing, this is serious.
Clara:  Yeah, well I can’t help it, can I?  With you and your big, old face.

Doctor:  If the TARDIS were to land with its true weight, it would fracture the surface of the Earth.

Clara:  Please don’t do that.  That’s just wrong.
Image courtesy BBC America
Clara:  Oh, wow.  This is an honor.  Does this mean I’m you now?
Doctor:  No, it does not, so don’t get any ideas.

Clara: <scanning with sonic while turning> Anything?
Doctor:  Yes, I’m dizzy.

Clara:  I’m um … I’m the Doctor.
Doctor:  Don’t you dare.
Clara:  Doctor Oswald, but you can call me Clara.
Rigsy:  I’m Rigsy.  So, uh, what are you a doctor of?
Doctor:  Of lies!
Clara:  Well, I’m usually quite vague about that.  I think I just picked the title because it makes me sound important.

Doctor:  Hello, barely sentient local.

Doctor:  He’s a pudding brain.  Worse than that, he’s a fluorescent pudding brain.

Doctor:  You really do throw your companions in at the deep end, don’t you?
Image courtesy BBC America
Rigsy:  It’s bigger … on the inside.
Doctor:  You know, I don’t think that statement’s ever been truer.

Doctor:  I mean this is just embarrassing.  I’m from the race that built the TARDIS, dimensions are kind of our thing.

Rigsy:  So how’d you get this gig?  You, like, study science or aliens or something?
Clara:  No.  Well, it’s kind of more of a right place, right time or wrong place, wrong time depending on how he’s behaving.
Doctor:  I can hear you, you know.

Doctor:  The TARDIS should be able to detect anything in the known universe.  The known universe.  This universe.

Doctor:  Whatever they are they are … they are experimenting.  They’re testing.  They’re … they are dissecting.  Trying to understand us.  Trying to understand … three dimensions.

Danny:  Who was that?
Clara:  Um, that’s just a guy on community support and I’m helping him … find his auntie.
Doctor:  Nice.  Not technically lying.
Image courtesy BBC America
Doctor:  This explains everything.  They’re from a universe with only two dimensions.  And, yes, that is a thing!  It’s long been theorized, of course, but on one could go there and prove its existence without a heck of a diet.

Doctor:  You told me that Danny was okay with you being back on board the TARDIS.
Clara:  Well, he is.
Doctor:  Yeah, because he doesn’t know anything about it.

Doctor:  Congratulations.  Lying is a vital survival skill.  And a terrible habit.

Doctor:  We’ve found the missing people, they’re in the walls!

Fenton: <looking at psychic paper> This is blank.  Try again, sweetheart.
Doctor & Clara: <in unison> What?
Doctor:  It takes quite a lack of imagination to beat psychic paper.
Image courtesy BBC America
Doctor:  They’re wearing the dead like camouflage.

Worker:  Are we really hiding from killer graffiti?

Fenton:  Who are you?  That’s what I want to know.  Impersonating a government official, trespassing on council property …
Clara:  Seriously?
Fenton:  Seriously.
Clara:  Fine, I’ll tell you who I am.  I am the one chance you’ve got of staying alive.  That’s who I am.
Doctor:  Well done.

Clara:  I just hope I can keep them all alive.
Doctor:  Ah, welcome to my world.

Doctor:  So what’s next, Doctor Clara?
Clara:  Lie to them.
Doctor:  What?
Clara:  Lie to them.  Give them hope.  Tell them they’re all going to be fine.  Isn’t that what you would do?
Doctor:  In a manner of speaking.
Image courtesy BBC America
Doctor:  It’s true that people with hope tend to run faster, whereas people who think they’re doomed …
Clara:  Dawdle.  End up dead.
Doctor:  So that’s what I sound like?

Clara:  Why can’t the TARDIS just translate?
Doctor:  Because their idea of language is just as bizarre as their idea of space.  Even the TARDIS is confused.

Doctor:  I know a race made of sentient gas who throw fireballs as a friendly wave.  I know another race with 64 stomachs who talk to each other by disemboweling.

Doctor:  My point being that in a universe as immense and bizarre as this one you cannot be too quick to judge.

Doctor:  They may not even know that they’re hurting us.
Clara:  Do you really believe that?
Doctor:  No, I really hope that.  It would make a nice change, wouldn’t it?

Doctor:  Okay, let’s start with pi.  Even in a flat world they would have circles.  I don’t mean edible pie, I mean circular pi, which I realize would also mean edible pie but anyway …

Doctor:  You can’t apply human logic, you’re dealing with creatures from another dimension.

Doctor:  This should be able to restore dimensions.  You see what I’ve called it?
Clara:  Two. Dee.  Iz.  Two dee-iz.
Doctor:  No, “Twodis!”  It’s called the “Twodis.”  Why’d I even bother?
Image courtesy BBC America
Doctor:  Clara, do you want the good news or the bad news?
Clara:  We’re in the bad news!  I’m living the bad news!

Doctor:  I’m on the train lines … and there’s a train coming.  Of course there is.

Doctor:  Clara, there is no power.  The TARDIS couldn’t boil an egg at the moment.

Clara:  No, I mean you move the TARDIS.  Like Addams Family.
Image courtesy BBC America
Bill (train driver):  Is this official?  Because I’ve always wanted to ram something.

Clara:  And I really liked that hair band.  But I suppose I’ll just take it, will I?  And every time I look at it I’ll always remember the hero who died to save it.

Clara:  I quite liked that hair band.

Fenton:  I never thought I’d say this, this is insane, but I think I preferred them when they were flat.

Doctor:  Life support failing.  I don’t know if you’ll ever hear this, Clara.  I don’t even know if you’re still alive out there, but you were good.  And you made a mighty fine Doctor.
Image courtesy BBC America
Clara:  Rule number one of being the Doctor – use your enemy’s power against them.

Doctor:  I tried to talk.  I want you to remember that.  I tried to reach out, I tried to understand you, but I think that you understand us perfectly.  And I think that you just don’t care.  And I don’t know whether you are here to invade, infiltrate or just replace us.  I don’t suppose it really matters now.  You are monsters!  That is the role you seem determined to play, so it seems that I must play mine – The man that stops the monsters.
Doctor:  I’m sending you back to your own dimension.  Who knows?  Some of you may even survive the trip, and if you do, remember this – you are not welcome here.  This plane is protected.  I am the Doctor and I name you The Boneless!
Image courtesy BBC America
Doctor:  You look chipper.
Clara:  Do people still say chipper?
Doctor:  Apparently.

Clara:  Yeah, well, I was you today.  I was the Doctor.  And, apparently, I was quite good at it.
Doctor:  You heard that, did you?

Doctor:  Ah!  The return of the fluorescent pudding brain!

Doctor:  Your last painting was so good it saved the world.  I can’t wait to see what you do next.
Rigsy:  It’s not going to be easy, I’ve got a hair band to live up to.

Clara:  I was the Doctor and I was good.
Doctor:  You were an exceptional Doctor, Clara …
Clara:  Thank you.
Doctor:  … goodness had nothing to do with it.

Tune in next week for In the Forest of the Night, airing Saturday, October 25 at 9/8c on BBC America

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